Kids... Do We Really Need 'em?

First off, I would like to sincerely thank everyone who took the time to look at my blog this past week! You guys are awesome! I hope I can be entertaining enough to gain your loyalty!

Okay. It's real talk time.

How many of you think that we have a population problem? That we are overpopulating the earth, and that one day there will be so many people on it, that there won't be anymore resources left to keep us, or our families alive? Well... you may be less right than you think.

The fact of the matter is that we, as a culture, are not having nearly as many kids as we used to. The fertility rate (number of children per the average woman) is declining. Yes the population is growing, but not because more people are having babies, but because less people are dying. There are so many (I guess word/phrase of the week is "so many") contributing factors as to why women are not having nearly as many children as they used to. Trust me (I took the notes!).

In the 1960's the women's revolution began. Women started wanting what men had, an education, and a career. And, when they went out and got it, this redefined family norms in America. Women started waiting to get married and have children, because if they wanted that grand career, a child might slow them down from getting there. Also in 1962, the FDA approved the birth control pill. Women started taking it so that they would have more control over when, or how often, they had children. Now please to not think that I am hating on the women's revolution, because I believe that women are equal to men (Even in Gensis when God creates the woman Eve, He took a rib from Adam, so that the woman is not behind, in front of, above nor below him, but right at his side). I believe that women should always educate themselves in what interests them so that they can be their best selves. But I also believe that to be a mother is a divine calling from God. That is one reason fertility is dropping - because women are putting their careers ahead of their families.
The sexual revolution is another reason. By 1972, 70% of women were on the pill. Because of birth control, men and women have started to disconnect reproduction and sex. In a world where we are continually becoming conditioned to look out for ourselves, gratify ourselves, do what we want, sex is becoming just that - another way to satisfy ourselves rather than what it's purpose is - to multiply and replenish the earth. Even Gloria Steinem said, "The sexual revolution was "not a woman's revolution, but rather men trying to get easier sexual access to women.""
Fertility is also down because of divorce. In the late 1960's, Ronald Reagan passed a "No Fault Divorce" law in California. That meant that any spouse, anywhere, could get a divorce for any reason. Divorce rate rose up 20% and soon it spread all over the world. In 2006, 1.9 million people in China got divorced. People who have been divorced, or grew up with parents who were divorced, are much less likely to have more than one or two children, if any. These are just some of the reasons fertility has gone down in the world.

But why does this matter?

First off, we need to meet thing called a replacement rate so that the population can be replenished in the next generation. If we don't meet that rate then our population will slowly get smaller and smaller. Kids are important because they are the next generation. They will take over when we die. No body likes to think that they will die one day, but it is true. You will. And who will take over then, if you don't have any kids? Also, when fertility declines, social and moral capitals decline and there are less people to be with and hang out with. It is inside of a family that we become people. It is where we learn to trust, love, and work together.

As humans, we are social creatures. Families are the fundamental units of society. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states; "The family is the natural, fundamental, group unit of society, and is entitled to protection by the state." Families are the groups of people we identify ourselves with. These are the groups of people that raise us to be good and caring people. 

Do I think the human population will go extinct because of the lowering fertility rates? No. I don't think that. Heavenly Father will never let that happen. I do think, however, that along with declining fertility rates, we as a society are loosing our sense of what it means to be a family. Of what it means to have children and raising them to be the best people they can be. Being a part of a family, no matter what those family values are, teaches the children how to be an adult. 

Okay. I am a Mormon. Mormons get stereotyped as having 15 kids (Along with having 15 wives, but that is a different post for a different day). This is not true. I myself only have two brothers. Some people are called to raise 15 kids, while others are only called to raise 1. Or even none. It all depends on Heavenly Father's plan for us. So when the time comes to start having children with your spouse, make sure Heavenly Father is in on that conversation too. I would hate to think that I would miss out on having my sweet 4th, 5th, 6th or even 7th child, because I thought 3 was plenty and didn't want anymore. How many blessings would I miss out on? How many lessons would I have learned from that kid, that I will never get the chance to learn? What would happen to that kid's spouse? I mentioned in my last post that my mom started a new career right before she found out she was pregnant with me... what if she had been on birth control? I wouldn't be here today, writing to all of you. Our choices can impact those who are not even on this earth yet. Which is why, if you are religious or not, you should think before deciding "one is enough for me."

No situation is the same when it comes to having children. Please do not think that I am saying, "If you don't have any kids, you are killing the earth's population!" Yeah right. Some people just can't have them (Heavenly Father must have a different route for them to follow). Some only need to have one or two. All I am trying to say is, don't let work (for both men and women), sex for pleasure, the easy opportunity for divorce, feelings of inadequacy, or anything else get in your way of raising a strong, healthy family. And don't be closed minded to having a lot of kids. Even if you're not religious, let your instincts take over to tell you when to stop. 

Kids are important. They are the future us.

And besides, if they weren't around, who would say the darndest things?