Flipped Families

One of my favorite movies of all time is called "Flipped." It is an adorable "coming of age" movie told from the perspective of two 13 year old kids. Bryce Loski and Julie Baker. Bryce just wants to fit in, and having Julie Baker following him around since they were 7 years old, is ruining that hope. Julie thinks about things in a different way, and doesn't mind that she isn't like everyone else. A great scene in this movie, is when Julie and her father are sitting out in her backyard. Julie is watching her dad paint a beautiful landscape and her Dad (I personally think he is pretty awesome for bringing guys up in the first place!) asks Julie, "What is going on with you and Bryce Loski?" but in a definite cool-off-the-cuff manner. Julie, as I expect most 13 year olds would do, tries to play it cool by saying, "What do you mean? Nothing..." Her dad knows better. He tells her she talks about Bryce all the time, and Julie, knowing she has been caught, gets a little embarrassed. Her dad asks her what she likes about him. Julie tell her father that there is something about Bryce's eyes... or maybe it is his smile. Her dad asks her, "But what about him?"

Julie is really confused now.

He goes on to tell her that the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts. He uses a metaphor, telling her that in a painting, a cow is just a cow. But then you put that cow in a meadow with flowers and green grass. Then you add a sunset, maybe even a huge tree. And pretty soon, after adding all of these little things, you have a beautiful picture. It took Julie the rest of the movie to fully understand what her dad was trying to tell her - and it took me until this last week in class to understand as well (even though I have seen this movie around 10 times!!).

Boring note: The family is a system. Cool note: There is more than just one system that a family can be. (Well.. it's cool to me...). There is Symbolic Interactions Theory, Conflict Theory, Exchange Theory and Systems Theory. I gave you links to definitions so that if you are interested, you can see a quick explanation without me going into to much detail (yes, there are some Wikipedia sites, but the definitions are quick and basic!). I did this because last week I droned on and on. I am going to try to not do that again!

So what in the world does Emily's favorite movie have to do with Family Systems Theory? Well, lucky reader, let me tell you! This theory has everything to do the idea that families are systems. One is not one, without the other. I know that the saying "the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts" seems pretty simple, but I truly didn't understand what it meant, until my teacher put it into a family perspective. Let me see if I can explain myself:

A man is just a man. Then you give him a woman (the right woman to the right man hopefully). Then you add a baby. Then another. And another, and continue until it is time to stop. (And in my future family we will be adding some dogs, maybe even a cat.) Everyone in this family plays a role. Whether it is titled, goofball, or peacekeeper. There are so many different titles that can go into a family. The husband and wife not only have their own title, but they get to wear the Mom and Dad hat as well (double duty!). My point is, is that everyone in every family has a role, and if they were to play their role on their own, it wouldn't be as beautiful. The goofball wouldn't have anyone to laugh with, and the peacekeeper wouldn't have any arguments to extinguish. The man and woman just wouldn't have anyone to take care of, and give all of their love to. Separately, they are individuals. But together, they become one (if that makes any sense...). You can't be a kid without parents, a brother or sister without a sibling, and you can't be a mom or dad without children. 

This system is a beautiful landscape. It is what Heavenly Father intended. He put us into families because He knows that without them, we would be lost. We are all one part, but when you piece us together we are whole. It is the same for Julie when she looks at Bryce. The same when you look at Joe Shmoe from down the street, the same when you look at me, and the same when you look at yourself. We all have talents and qualities that make us unique and eternally beautiful. Put all of those aspects together, and you have a Child of God. Put a group of Children of God together, and you have a Family of God. A beautiful, eternal, whole. 

I guess the biggest point I am trying to make is that, yes, we are individuals. But, it is as a family that we have the great potential to become more. We can become apart of something eternal. That is why families are so important.

Did I flip your thoughts around?