Cultural Clashes

In my first semester up here at BYU-I something pretty weird happened. I came out of my room in my little apartment, and some people from our ward were sitting on my couch, chatting with my roommates. We introduced ourselves, our majors, and so on. When I said I was from Northern California, one of the guys made a face. He told me he was from Southern California, and he hated Northern. Apparently there is a rivalry between the two. I told him, sorry I didn't know there was a rivalry. And you know what he said? "Oh that's okay. Most people in Northern Cali don't know about it." ....Um, what? Apparently he isn't the only one to note there is a difference between Northern and Southern Californians. I had a roommate over the school break who told me that I was pretty different from a few roommates she has had in the past, that were from Southern California. I realized, it was true. As a generalization, people from the north tend to be a bit more mellow than people from the south, (again I say generalization... I do realize I have not met every single person in California).

My point is that even though this guy and I were born and raised in the same state, our cultures a both super different. Take a person from New York, and a person from Texas, and they will clash culturally. North, South, East, West (remember, Never Eat Soggy Waffles? (: ), all over the United States there are differences. Just think about the cultural differences in other countries. 

Adjusting to different cultures is hard, especially on a family. Imagine, you and your family want to move to a new, different area (whether it is a new area in your own country, or a different country all together). You and your family are expected to mold yourself into the traditions of this area. If you don't, you are isolated, and judged. There might be a language barrier that you and your family have to deal with.  

I theorize that there are two different kinds of cultural integration. One, is when there is a shinny new French boy that is an exchange student. He is foreign, has an accent and let's face it, he is super cute. He has tons of friends because he is from a different culture. He will be here, in America for a school year, then he will go back to his family and country. Then, there are the new kids from Mexico. There are so many Hispanic kids in my old high school that honestly, I don't think I would be able to tell who immigrated from Mexico, who was born here, or who was an exchange student. We don't lavish them with attention, because they are from a place that isn't super exciting to us, as Californians. We expect them to learn our language, and our customs. But do we ever take the time to get to know them? Do we see them struggling with their history homework and reach out to help? Do we help them with their English (or whatever the new language is that they must learn)? 

I have lived in the same house since I was 6 years old. To our left, lives this sweet African American couple. They lived their long before we moved in, and they continue to occupy the house. To our right, stands this little house that many different families have lived in. When I was around 8, this new Hispanic family moved in and I made friends with their daughter who was a year younger than me. I had been the only kid on the street for a while, so I welcomed the company. We played everyday. Her brothers and I even buried and held a funeral for a dead bird (not the most sanitary activity and believe me, our moms got after us for it!). I loved playing there, but I never got to actually talk to their mom. She only knew Spanish, and so when she and my mom would make plans on our behalf, my friend would have to translate between her mother and my own.  

Imagine, just the language barrier. I know I have mentioned this before, but how hard would it be if you couldn't have a conversation with your daughter's teacher, without that child being there to translate. It is very hard for anyone coming into a new country to get around all of the obstacles standing in their way. 

It is our job as just plain good people, to look for these newbies. It is our job as people who are from the culture in which we live to take them under our wing. Not to judge them for being different. But to look at them with understanding and acceptance. I had the opportunity to go to London when I was thirteen. Thirteen years old, and going to a new country without her parents - her comfort zone. I stayed with my sweet aunt and uncle. Neither of them went to church at all, so they helped me find a Mormon church meeting to go to. My first week there in Young Women's class, the girls who were actually in the ward, said nothing to me. They introduced themselves, showed me where class was and proceeded to ignore me. I felt so alone. I almost left because I felt so unwanted. 

Just as we need to be good neighbors and welcome those of different cultures into our communities, we need to be aware of the cultural differences when new members join the Church. We have our way of doing things, and sometimes we don't allow new members enough time, or give them enough help, to acclimate themselves into this new culture, even a new vocabulary. Converts sometimes don't understand that, for example, we don't as audience members talk back to the person giving a talk in Sacrament meeting. So when and if it happens, we need to be as understanding as possible and not isolate them for doing things like this. 

So whether it is a jock coming into your beloved drama class, a new member joining your church, or a new family moving into your community from Brazil, don't isolate. Don't judge. Just love, accept, learn, and teach. 

Don't let cultural clashes ruin your chances to get to know some great people.

(Also please feel free to comment, and share your opinions on this topic. I really love hearing what you think. And if you are shy, leave an anonymous comment! Thanks!)