The Time Dad Shaved His Finger Off

My senior year of high school, my mom went to visit her sister in London. She was gone for about three weeks. This meant that my dad and I would be alone for the longest time than we have ever been before. During this time, I had drama rehearsal three nights a week for about 2-3 hours, depending on how close opening night was. I had about fifteen minutes until I needed to leave and I was sitting in my room getting some homework done, when my sweet, beloved father walks in with a dirty, bloody towel on his hand telling me I needed to drive him to the hospital because he shaved the tip of his finger off with his table saw.

"What?!"

"I can see the bone Em, we need to go."

I probably could have killed him.

This is the monologue that went through my head as I scrambled around the house trying to find shoes, my wallet and keys;

"Okay. I have to take him to Marysville. That isn't to far but I will have to drive over that narrow bridge and I have never done that before. It is okay. Everything will be okay. Oh man I hope I don't drive the mini van into the river. Crap! I have practice tonight, my director will kill me if I am even a minute late, I need to call her..." "Hey Em, do you wanna see my finger?" "NO DAD" "... I swear if he shows me his finger I will throw up... ugh where is my mom when I need her? LONDON. I need to email her. What if Dad looses his finger? Geez he needs a new towel, but I can't get it for him, what if I see his finger? Okay, shoes? Check. Keys? Check. Phone? Check. Embarrassing outfit because that is what I wear to rehearsal? Check. Please don't loose so much blood that you pass out....."

I would occasionally voice these concerns to my dad. Who am I kidding, I wasn't thinking all of that. I was saying it out loud to my dad with a few, "Why are you so stupid?!"'s in there. And you know what my dad did, finger shaved off and bleeding? He was telling me it was going to be okay. He was telling me that I could get him to the hospital safely. He was telling me my director would understand why I was late.

Who does that?

My dad. Although I could have killed him in the moment for doing something so incredibly stupid (I can say that because he told me himself he was being stupid,) I was very grateful for his calmness in the situation. If he had been crying out in pain, freaking out, and yelling at me I probably would have been an even bigger mess than I already was. I used to think my dad was just a calm guy. And don't get me wrong, he is. But this last week I have learned that it might not just be him, but his nature.

I hate to break it to you people, but men and women are not the same. We are completely equal. Women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Study after study has shown how men and women think and act differently. A lot of people say that men and women act differently because we raise them that way. We cuddle the girls more when they're upset, and let the boys cry it out in an effort to toughen them up. We watched a video this week on how boys and girls are different and a group of parents who were very much into "Unisex Parenting" were interviewed about their children. One mom said that she would be the last person in the world to give her son a toy gun, and yet he would always take his carrots off his dinner plate and say, "Bang! Bang!" Another said she had twins, one boy and one girl, and even though she bought them both the same toys, her boy would go for the cars and her girl would go for the dolls.

One study found that when a group of boys and girls have a table full of toys placed in front of them, the girls tend to gravitate toward make up and the boys toward balls or swords. In their observations, they found that the boys were mostly concerned with rules and that they had better spatial orientation than the girls. The girls, however, wanted to focus on relationships and communication, even at a very young age. In another study younger children, babies around the age of one, were placed behind a clear plastic barrier, separated from their mothers. In general, the boys would get up and bang on the barrier, trying to get out. On the opposite spectrum, the girls would typically just sit there and cry for their momma. Not young enough to convince you boys and girls are different? Studies have shown that newborn girls tend to make eye contact, and move their mouths like they are talking before boys do. Also, boys tend to crawl away from their caregiver before the girls do. (Most, if not all of this information can be found in the documentary Men, Women and the Sex Difference produced by ABC News). Please do not think me naïve enough to believe that these generalizations are always true 100% of the time. People are all individually unique.  Even with the baby behind the barrier study, some girls did get up to bang on the wall for mommy, and some boys did sit and cry for her.

When babies are growing in their momma's "tummy," there comes a time in their development when the X or the Y chromosome tells the body which hormone to shower the baby in. With the X chromosome, estrogen. With the Y, testosterone. Even before birth, we are different. That is the way Heavenly Father intended for it to be.

Why are men generally more task oriented then women? Why do they focus on rules more? They are hardwired to be a protector and provider for their family. Why are women more relationship oriented? Why do they have more attention to detail, and are generally better at interpreting non-verbal communication? One reason we are hardwired that way is because since babies can't talk, mothers need to be able to interpret their non-verbal cues in order to meet their needs.

We each have a divine purpose in this life, a purpose that Heavenly Father Himself gave to us. When He created the world, he delegated it's creation to Christ. However when it came to Adam and Eve, Heavenly Father was the one who made them, because it was so important. Heavenly Father did not make man, and think, "Oh, he needs someone to cook for him." I know I have already said this in my blog, Heavenly Father started Eve out of Adam's rib so that she would stand right next to him, and close to his heart. Men can not claim all of their eternal blessings without women, and women the same without the man. In order to attain exaltation, we need a body and we need to be baptized with the priesthood. We are equal, but not the same.

Men and women are so different, we have to be meant for each other. Just like puzzle pieces. Each are equally important, but not a single one of them have the same shape. When you finish the puzzle, it is a beautiful, completed picture.

So let us complete one another. Not compete with one another.

Oh wait! I almost forgot! I didn't drive the car off of the bridge. When we got to the hospital my dad insisted that I just drop him off and go to rehearsal, so I was able to explain what was going on my director. My dad got his temporary stiches (and also took pictures of them sewing up the end of his finger with his phone... *eye roll*). I got to take the next day off of school to drive him to Roseville to get his finger officially looked at by his doctor, where he got much more permanent bandages. (Which by the way he broke open the next day, and I had to drive him down there... again). He only lost about a quarter inch of his finger!

All went well, and my sweet dad kept me calm-ish throughout the whole ordeal!