Jenny and Her Dating Adventure

This week in class, we talked about dating, falling in love and getting married. I have slim to almost no experience when it comes to this topic. What's a girl, who needs a good grade, to do? Tell a hypothetical story, of course! I will stop along the way and explain a few things I have learned in class this week!

Meet Jenny Baker, a girl from (Insert your favorite town and country here). She loves horse back riding, reading science fiction during thunder storms and long walks on the beach at sunset (This is why I am not a fictional writer... my character just isn't realistic! Please stick with me anyway! ) Jenny is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and is going to be attending BYU-Idaho in the fall. Jenny tells herself that she is not going to become one of those 'get married within the first semester girls (They all say that!). She is just going to get some old fashion edumication! (Jenny does have quite the sense of humor if I do say so myself!)

So school starts, and throughout her first year at college, Jenny goes on a few dates with a few different guys, but none of them have really caught her eye completely. Lewis was nice, but he was way to young, a 17 year old genius. Marc was good looking, but he always wanted to move way to fast in the physical direction Jenny didn't feel comfortable with. Kenneth acted like a complete snob, driving around in his convertible, and Jenny always felt out of place when she was with him. Ready for lesson One? No? Too bad! A lot of you are probably thinking that Jenny is kind of snobby herself. When in actuality she isn't. She is just looking for someone who is around her age, shares the same religious beliefs and values as she does, and is around the same socioeconomic class. She doesn't know she is looking for these things. She is just looking for someone she can be comfortable with, someone who she feel she can be herself around. She isn't intentionally saying, "Nope, you're ugly." or "Nope, you're too poor or too rich." Also, she wants to be with the person who is right for her, and if Heavenly Father says, "No way!" it's kind of a no brainier to Jenny if she should continue dating the guy or not!

After about a year and a half, Jenny meets Seth Matthews. Seth is from a town that is about five hours North of where Jenny originates, served his mission in Alberta, Canada, grew up on a ranch, attends the temple weekly, is about a two years older than Jenny, and let's not forget how good looking he is. Seth asks Jenny out every Friday and Saturday night for a whole month and they both are really enjoying each other's company. Whenever they go out, Seth has thought through a plan for the date. He and Jenny are obviously paired off during group dates. Also, he lives within his means, meaning if he can't afford a fancy $60 meal, he plans a fun picnic in the park. Lesson Number Two: What Seth might not realize is by planning, pairing off, and paying for all of these dates, he is showing Jenny that as a potential husband, he could preside over their family, provide for them, and protect them. He doesn't know he is doing it, and Jenny isn't thinking, "Alright, he paid for the movie that means he will be able to put food in our children's mouths." Not only are these good characteristics for a man to have, but it is showing Jenny he would make a good and caring eternal spouse.

Jenny and Seth have now been dating for about four months. During that time, Seth's grandma has passed away, and Jenny's little 14 year old sister has run away from home. They have shared a lot of conversations about what they wanted to do with their lives, how many kids they hope to have one day, their favorite and least favorite things that their parents did as they grew up, and many other personal details about themselves. They even had a few pretty heated arguments. Also during these four months, Jenny and Seth went on a lot of different types dates. All the way from going hiking on 'R' mountain, to to getting frozen yogurt. Lesson Number Three: Jenny and Seth have dated for a while now (At least in Mormon culture!) and they have experienced a lot of different situations with each other. Sadness, anxiety, anger, happiness and so on. They know a lot about each other, important things like what they want to bring from their family, into their possible new one. They have done a lot of different things, instead of just sitting around watching a movie every weekend. They have seen each other in a lot of different situations, emotions and problems. This is good!

After five months, Seth and Jenny start talking about marriage. They pray separately and together about whether or not they are supposed to get married. Eventually they both get the confirmation that it was time to tie the eternal knot. Seth takes Jenny to her favorite ice skating rink and has the owner flash a "Jenny, will you marry me?" sign on the message board. Seth looks at her, she has tears in her eyes, and of course she said yes (Sorry for the cheesy-ness, I am running out of things to say!). The semester ends and the wedding is soon. Jenny is talking to her best friend, who is not LDS, and her friend tells her that she needs to wait to tie herself to a guy for the rest of her life - she is only 20 years old, after all. She and Seth should live together for a few months before taking the plunge. Jenny tells her all of this research that her super smart friend from college, Emily, told her. (Yes Emily is me! However did you know?) Emily has told Jenny that those who live together before marriage are actually more likely to get divorced once they do get married, if they ever end up doing so. When you live with someone without any commitment, that's the first issue - there's no commitment. People can just move out and break up whenever they want to. Also, certain patterns are formed that are hard to break once married that can end up ruining the marriage. Also, trust is a bigger issue. (Like how I slipped Lesson Four in there without you even knowing?!)

Jenny and Seth get married in the temple and start their lives together. (I would tell you the rest of their story, but this post is about dating, and also it is getting kind of long!) But don't think their life was cookie cutter, picture perfect, because as we all know, no one is spared from trials.

The story I just told might be your story. However, it will probably be completely different from how falling in love will turn out for you. I don't know! Only Heavenly Father knows. Just listen to Him and the Holy Ghost when dating someone, because they know a whole lot better than we do!

Also, just because you are married, doesn't mean you should stop dating your spouse! Dating is supposed to be fun! Go have fun with your spouse!!

Happy dating!!